Notes from Tommie

posted by tommie on Mar 14

So here I am at a little after 22:00 and just got home… We were going to have crawfish today; however, that just wasn’t meant to be because the place that was supposed to have actually good crawfish this time of year ran out – along with everywhere else that normally would have any at all. So normally  I would be upset about that because I’ve been craving some good old crawfish boil for a good time now but I’m actually not feeling too bad considering everything that’s happened in the last couple of days.

On the vehicle, my mom and I are leavng in the morning for my uncle’s down in the houston area to hopefully find something within my price range (though as of right now my insurance company STILL hasn’t given me what they said they would and after calling a second time the price is lower than what they initially had totalled) but even this doesn’t aggravate me really. If I didn’t know any better I would swear I’d taken some kind of drug or had just enough to get tipsy but know I haven’t touched any substance to cause such a feeling.

Alls I can say for certainty is that at this precise moment in time I can actually find contentment in where He has put me. Though there really isn’t happiness there is still a reason to smile – sometimes it’s better to just step back and look at what you do have. Something people have been telling me for years now that I think I’m just now starting to actually realize. Who knows, it might actually help me in the long run to get through the rough times ahead. Despite all the things that went wrong today there was one thing that went right – it was a reason to smile…

I can’t say what it is or how it happens but every now and then under certain circumstances I can just smile. The entire world around us doesn’t matter and all of those negative things in life just seem to fade away – for just those few moments I can let go of everything that normally bogs me down and just be me, be a person that can just sit there in silence and smile.

It’s up to each and every one of us to find that place that we can go and to fight for it – right now I’m making my stand on what I think can make me smile regardless of the good or bad by doing the one thing that I am absolutely horrible at: being patient. For better or worse, for good and bad I’ll be here – I’ll always be Tommie. That ear to listen, shoulder to cry on, and arms to hold. I will be strong and have faith because it’s in Him that I have gotten this far and through the thick and thin of it He will lead me to where I belong.

Regardless of the outcome life isn’t where you end up but rather the journey you took to get there. Life is about the decisions we make day in and day out concerning not only ourselves, or even those that we care most deeply about, but also those that we don’t even know. So be honest. Be honest with yourself and to all those around you. If you have something that’s hurting or joy that is so overflowing it needs to burst out let it – share it with the world.

Just be you, we are all on the highway of life but each and every one of us decides when to turn off and take a little detour. For some of us that detour may be a little bit bumpy while for others it can be relatively smooth sailing the entire way it’s YOUR decision on which roads you’ll take and when you will get back on the highway and keep living life the way He wants you to. There’s happiness out there for us all – it’s our own decisions, wether selfless or selfish, that guide us there.

Be brave, be true, be proud of the you that is truly you, never change for anyone else but for what you want to change in yourself, be happy, be sad, but always know that there’s someone there for you. We can often look over the things right in front of us – even when we know it’s there sometimes we’re scared to take that leap. By heavens angels we are protected from scraping our feet against the stone: so take a step back, breathe, and trust. In the end things will turn out ok – it’s up to us and the free will He gave us to take ok and make it something more… and right now I’m here for you…

posted by tommie on Mar 10

So here it’s been a while since the last time I posted partially due to the fact that I’ve been very busy and partially due to the fact that I’ve had alot of confusion on when my blog would be up and when it would be changing the host; that said there are quite a few things that my readers should be updated on.

First and foremost I am finally back at Fort Polk (Puke) until our next deployment which as of last I heard will be to Afghanistan though off the top of my head I can’t remember when. A large portion of my unit did make it back in time to celebrate New Years with our familites, though not all of us.

I’ve already gone and bought, and totalled, my first car completely under my name unlike some of my family members who have gone through several with few or none under their actual name on the title. It was a very nice and shiny black 2007 Honda Civic LX – a really wonderful car; however, deer being the skittish things they are caused me to collide with one such creature, then a ditch, then fly through the air and thus totalling the thing.

Also, I’ve already gone through two different girlfriends since I got back from deployment. The first I was attracted to because of certain religious preferences that set both of us apart from most common folk in these parts, and our personalities really did go well together. The second can make me smile just by being next to her – even when tears are pouring down my face from the truth: simple fact is that sometimes the truth hurts; however, I do have faith that I’ll still get my chance if I’m patient and let things go the way He wants them to go concerning her.

Back to the issue of a vehicle on hand, currently I’m driving around a Chevy HHR as a rental until the 16th and have come to the conclusion tha my replacement really shouldn’t be another car. So instead of something small and sporty I’ve been looking at something more like a Toyota Tacoma or a Ford Ranger – regular cab or half cab. For those of you who know me and my driving that’s probably a scary thought but it would make me be alot more safe about what I do and don’t do on the road.

Completely aside from that I’ve spent a small fortune trying to update my Class A (dress uniform) up to snuff since getting back into garrison. All in all I think I’m up to seven different ribbons, pending orders, and got two promotions during the deployment – on top of having to pay for all that I also had to get my combat stripe and new dress shoes because my old ones were skuffed up in the process of going from Huachuca, AZ to Fort Polk, LA.

Something else to note is that I actually went to go talk to a pro councelor, however you spell it, today. For a few of you that can be understood as a good thing whereas most of you probably have no idea why I would need to – suffice to say that I have yet another appointment next week… Depending on what he and I come to on a conclusion it may turn into something official but as of right now it’s still completely off the record and confidential as to what our conversations are…

Which brings me to what really pisses me off, apparently crashing your car and going to talk to somebody means that when you’re required to take a suicide prevention class (my whole unit had to take it) that means you get singled out to make sure you read all the “right” answers… Of course at the time there were only four of us in the room but grrr that ticked me off. Like any one of those three have any room to judge me on ANYTHING that I would ever do.

Maybe this is why I need to actually get on and post more often so I’ll just wrap it up with that big piece of information. I’m sure more will be to follow within the week and to all those other service members for our country I got just one word: HOOAH! It’s an army thing…