Notes from Tommie

In our lives there are always things that are not quite so out in the open, things that you don’t really want the entire world to know about. Each and every one of us has these at some point in our lives and most of us carry a few things to the grave. With so much pressure being constantly put on our youth to meet standards and to match up to the dreams of their parents and grandparents I find it more and more that they really don’t know their kids at all.

Most of the time this isn’t even an actual effort, it just happens. Sometimes people keep these secrets for fear that the world won’t accept us for who we are and what out personal beliefs are per certain topics. Even I, who on most topics you ever could come up with is as open as a book, have some secrets that I’ve struggled with concerning letting family know about. Friends and certain individuals have learned things about me that in general aren’t that bad; however, the fear of reaction or public consensus have held me back all the same.

This post is mainly a challenge to those of you who are my readers and to myself. At some point in your life share these “deep dark secrets” with those that you care the most about. I understand that it can be frightening; however, if we can’t trust these people to love and accept us then what can we expect from the outside world or even ourselves. Be it in person, over the phone, or in a letter I encourage you to take that step and share something small at first moving on to larger things later on…

On an entirely different note: my squad has officially labeled me as a cultist because of my general beliefs in the government and how I would operate as a leader. For some reason wanting to lead future generations into a bright new age labels you as a cultist; however, I’ll shrug it off as close mindedness and look for support else where. Personally I see no problem with a totalitarian structure with egalitarianistic beliefs. *shrug* Some people disagree with that thought…

Chaos and confusion, Tommie Lee Roberts (a.k.a. Pup)

So this is pobably the longest that I’ve gone without posting and would love to sit here and say that there was an excellent excuse; however, that wouldn’t be the truth. Sure, in the start the internet was down for a bit and I didn’t have access but that hasn’t been the case this entire time. But I suppose the old saying is true of ”no news is good news.”

At this point I am extremely irritated for the lack of morality in our military. From the things that I have seen and the things I’ve hear, or even been told personally, it is expected of all soldiers to have two faces. Being raised in a family that promotes honesty and good moral values (and the fabled ‘army values’) puts me at odds with the situation. Although I suppose I can’t really say that it’s just the military but the entire human race as a whole; probably one of the biggest reasons why I am always finding myself dissapointed in our race.

Most humans agree in their cries for peace, but there is not peace. As a general thumb children are taught to be honest and stick to their word; however, the years fade and as adulthood comes so too does deciet and the web of lies and self-contradictions that we then label as our lives. People stand up and preach the glories of freedom and equality only to be shot down by those who beleive we aren’t ready.

I often find myself asking what causes this change, because there is no doubt that it is a change. Dreams of greatness and that strong faith in morality is a constant as children, but as we grow older we forget these things and simply settle for surviving. Is it so wrong to desire more of this world? We, as a people, have the technology to destroy entire planets and kill off numerous species off the face of our planet but we can’t find a single thing to cooperate for? The thought is absurd!

For any out there reading this I offer you a challenge: look to your brother, sister, father, mother, or even a friend and find some light to grasp onto. Afterwards look to a total stranger and see just how much alike all of us really are. Instead of focusing on the downfalls of our society and each other can’t we just remember what it was like to be children and do what’s right? Can’t we walk hand in hand to try and make this worl the best that we can manage?

On the edge and waiting for a reason, Tommie Lee Roberts (a.k.a. Pup)

Sorry to all those that try and keep updated on my blog, the last little bit of time has been increasingly busy and what with power difficulties and a few other things that urch my nerves I’ve just been really well pressed and not able to find enough time to sit down and post: so here I go.

First update is that my R&R may POSSIBLY be pushed back to october due to certain events that have come up. I still have no definite time frame and am playing anything and everything to do with leave by ear. So far as I’m concerned untill I’m already over halfway home, before then they can just turn around and still save on expenses, I’m not going to say that I’ll actually have it…

Still no word on IF and/or when I may or may not get that promotion to specialist. I’m still hoping to come across a waiver and I know that at least some of my leadership believe me worthy of it. As with just about everything else in the army though I’ll be playing that one by ear and try my best to keep you all updated. A little bit of extra money would put me alot closer to being able to afford my first car upon redeployment back to the states.

In  general I’m irritated with just about everything to do with my day to day life from the small things to all the political B.S. that I have to go through, along with everyone else in the military who knows exactly what I’m talking about, to do even the slightest thing or that constant concept of the “public eye” despite being deployed. The two things that bug me more then anything else in this world are one: stupid people and two: stupid behaviour. Both are plentiful in mass quantity in my day to day life just because of the oxymoron that is military intelligence.

In any case physically I’m doing fine and trying to stay in good shape via the gym and working out by doing laps. There are no outstanding threats besides the fact that I’m in the warzone. Chow is probably the most dangerous aspect of my current living conditions, and even that isn’t too terrible. So keep on keepin’ on and don’t worry about the details, at least that’s what I keep trying to do.

Much love and little patience, Tommie Lee Roberts (a.k.a. Pup)

Well once again I’ve missed time with family, this time it was Cameron’s birthday on the 10th. To my surprise when I called to say happy birthday I found out that I was the first family member to actually call. If nothing else this deployment has taught me to better appreciate home and family. As depressing as it is to think about how much I’m missing back home it’s that same thing that keeps me going. To think about where we would be if brave men and women hadn’t served before me.

On that back tat idea for my brother, just incase you hadn’t checked my myspace pictures here it is:

Another piece of information is that my platoon finally got some credit for everything that we’ve done so far with this deployment. 98% of the time whenever we try to put in for an award of any kind we get responded to with “they’re just doing there jobs.” To me that is absurd, we save lives and track down enemy targets but aren’t in the running because we’re “just doing our jobs.” How is that any different then an infantrymen or scout shooting down the enemy, after all that IS there job. Alas, the army too (like so many other things in our society) is more politics then actual war. Here’s a pic of my certificate of achievement, each of the shadow operators was given one…

Still tired and looking forward to R&R, Tommie Lee Roberts (a.k.a. Pup)

So yea, it has been about a week since my last post and I have gradually got a more and more over whatever sickness found its way into my system. Just in time too; today I found out that I’m changing over shifts again (thus the time of this post) so once more invert everything 12 hours. Also started working on designs for my brothers back tattoo, should have some pics of the rough drafts up soon either here or on myspace. My hope is that we won’t have such long shifts for too much longer and maybe we’ll be able to cut it down to eight hour shifts.



In addition to that I just went downstairs to apply for a waiver for promotion. Basically the way it works is that the entire company got one waiver for e3 to e4 and they pick the candidate most deserving of the promotion to get the waiver. I honestly don’t know what my competition is and don’t know where I stand (so busy working I haven’t actually met too many people) as far as possibly getting the waiver; however, my platoon seargent told me that I have just as much a chance as anybody else.



Not much more to report on other then: Iraq is still hot (110’s is considered cool), still nothing to do, and still looking forward to coming home on R&R.



Tired and sore, Tommie Roberts (a.k.a. Pup)

Yep, somehow I managed to get a cold in the middle of the heat of Iraq. At least that’s what it feels like; the funny thing is that normally I don’t ever get such symptoms back in the states. In case You hadn’t been one of those that I’ve notified the other day I also had to get hooded up to an IV for a bag of fluids: nothing too much to worry about, apparently I had some kind of bug and the doc wanted to push it through my system.

For two days now I’ve had a package in the mail room; however, just like normal I can never seem to get my timing right to actually find the person who runs the dang place… Thusly so I have yet to see what the package is or who it’s from. Once I actually get a chance to check it out I’ll let you’ll know who it came from and if I find anything that specifically stands out.

Not much really new at this point to announce to the world except that I’m tired and just trying to keep myself busy and distracted so I don’t think about how long I still have before coming home. Already my list of people to visit when the time finally comes is getting pieced together in my head; however, if I don’t quite make it to you please understand that even when I do get to come home for R&R it won’t be for too long…

Tired and ready to lay down, Tommie Roberts (a.k.a. Pup)

Just another thought that I had…

Looking past the shroud,
down to the heart and soul,
body gnawing with such hunger,
just wanted you to know,
constant you are with me,
always in my mind,
our souls have seen one another,
yours is their for all time,
my thirst shall never fade away,
my hunger never sated,
all I know is by your side,
till long after we’ve gone and faded….

Take it for what you will it’s what my hand put on the paper. For situational awareness I have also come to the conslusion that I fall under at least two groups: femenist and masculist. Although I’m sure more will come as I think about it, in case you haven’t noticed by my past posts or my own opinion in knowing me: I have a very strong belief that all people should be treated equally and given the same opportunities to express themselves openly… Regardless of race, religion, sex, or sexuality…

Exhausted and lonely, Tommie Roberts (a.k.a. Pup)

Alright as a general update a few days ago I got a package in the mail from Amber and the gang, and today I got a package from my mom and brother. Just wanted to let you’ll know that your packages did come in (just like I actually told mom yesterday, “It’ll probably be here tomorrow.” As per usual my just being a pain in the butt leads to a true statement. I loved the card my brother sent me for my birthday, even though it did get here a little late.

While I’ve been moping around I had a moment of thought and it turned out to this:

Cut away deeply at the skin
Leaving room for liquid guilt



Slowly the wound begins to bleed
Drowning darkness out to feed



From what once was great strength
Causes now for me to be weak



Losing the gift that is my sight
Sool I’ll have to face the light



So far as taking a piece of my soul
The very moment that it broke



Always reaching our for a hand
Soon I’ll fall and be like the dead

Lost in thought and unsure when he’ll be back, Tommie Roberts (a.k.a. Pup)

So yea, in case my sisters post didn’t shout it out clearly enough today is my birthday. Though it is the reason I haven’t posted in so long, just didn’t feel like making a pre-emptive post to basically just say two things: I’m waiting on my many packages supposed to be coming in, and waiting on my birthday. It just seemed like bad motivation to me and I couldn’t think of anything else.

Speaking of, I actually did get one package in today and go figure that it was a “birthday in a box” from Kimberly, Cameron, and Becka. Unfortunately I didn’t get to enjoy it too much because after work my room-mate wasn’t in a very uppity mood; however, I did listen to my little tiki music cd and thought it was awesome. Put a zebra cake on everybody else’s bed (only one of my roomies is on my shift) and there were just enough.

Before I ever went to work my platoon pulled together and got a cake for me from the defac (chow hall), and since they wouldn’t take no for an answer I did reluctantly eat a slice of it. Wasn’t too bad, though to be fair I knocked off almost all of the icing. Loved the actual birthday cards that I got from Kim, Becka, and Cam… Can’t lie about the fact that it made me tear up. No news on my other packages yet though; will let you all know as they come in and I’m looking forward to getting them.

Another piece of just so absolutely wonderful news I found out today is that my “possible” r&r for october has been moved to November. If I’m not mistaken that is the last month we have for r&r before we have to start getting everything started in the long process to ship equipment and etc. back home. In any case just thought that I’d get on to let every one know I’m still alive and how things are going here…

With hopes of a good year ahead, Tommie Roberts (a.k.a. Pup)

Hello!  This is Tommie’s sister, and I’m hijacking his blog for a moment to wish him a very happy birthday.  Yes, I know it’s July 11th here in the great United States of America, but over there in Iraq where he is proudly serving and promoting our freedom it is already July 12th and already Tommie’s 19th birthday!  So happy birthday baby brother!

We love you and I hope you have the best day possible in Iraq.  Here we will be thinking of you and wishing you very many happy thoughts and many more birthdays to come. I love you and thank you for serving in our proud volunteer military.  I have so much respect for you for taking this step in your life, and it’s something that I so couldn’t do, but wish I could.  I love you, Bubba. Happy Birthday!!!!